2019 Daddy Doula Award Story by Kelly

Written on 08/29/2019
She Births®

Nominee for DaddyDoula Award 2019

My husband Dave

This is my Daddy Doula Story!

At 40wks +13days as I hid from the hospital threatening induction, I finally went into labour naturally at 12 pm Sunday 25th Nov- my husband Dave and I were so excited we both got teary 🙂 (I must say- there was no amount of acupuncture, meditation, walking, sex, essential oils or eggplant parma that could get me there any sooner!)
We had big plans to wander down to the beach together for one last swim, but once contractions started they were intense quite quickly and we had to walk back home, not quite making the beach.

daddy doula Dave and hugo

I put the TENS machine on and timed them 3-4mins apart.
Nadine our doula arrived at 5 pm and we moved from the All 4’s position on the swiss ball to the shower. At home, it was all about the shower & hip squeezes. Dave joked about his arms hurting from squeezing at every contraction but it was just such a good natural relief I couldn’t have him stop! My 2 x doulas Dave & Nadine did a great job rotating with the hip squeezes give each other breaks.

Apparently, I ended up hanging out in the shower for the next 5 hours (Thankgosh for unlimited hot water in our new place compared to our 1 min hot showers in our unit where we lived 2 months previously).
And when we did get home I look back at the shower very fondly, with all the mats down for my knees and my water bottle and a half-eaten orange- where we all hung out for half a day together without much talking but so excited!.

Our midwife in the Midwifery Group Practice at RHW came and did a vaginal exam at home and I was 7cm and with that, I was happy to go to the hospital. I wanted to try the gas now.
Dave drove carefully the 5mins to the hospital and I kneeled on the front seat facing the back grabbing the headrest with every contraction. People in emergency had quite a sight as a laboured outside the hospital for a few contractions.

We got up to the suite and the bath was running and lights were dim like it was at home, I felt safe. However, I didn’t dilate anymore after another 5 hours at the hospital and I hadn’t spoken to anyone for ages. They broke my waters (and found meconium) and then bub got into a tricky position which affected his ability to descend any further.

daddy doula dave and hugo on bed

The meconium meant I had to go up to the delivery ward instead of the birth centre for monitoring. Dave knew this wasn’t part of my birth plans and he too must have felt all the oxytocin in the room. I had never seen him no emotionally raw and in love with me than in the 2 days of labour. He was sorry I was in pain and going on for so long but said we are nearly there and get to meet him/her soon and this excited me to tears as I went to the labour ward.

Hugo’s HR was staying so strong for so long despite the meconium, we were so proud of him allowing me to keep trying but eventually, his HR dropped and I ended with an assisted forceps delivery and he was out in 3 pushes! It ended so quickly after such a long labour.

Hugo was thrown up onto my chest. So big and beautiful. We couldn’t believe he was ours. We had our time of skin to skin and the first feed. He didn’t feed much but it was amazing to see him naturally climb up to the breast. So instinctual and impressive in the very first few minutes of life!

Dave & I couldn’t think of names or anything. We just kept hugging and spoke about how we were feeling over the last 2 days (because there wasn’t much talking going on) while Hugo lay on us. We were in awe of the whole process and how the love hormones have flooded both of our brains (and continue to do so 8 months on).

The birth isn’t the hardest part ! hehe

I am voting for Dave as Daddy Doula 2019 as he did skin on skin also everyday for 3months.

family photo Kelly Dave Hugo

Thank you so much for reading my Daddy Doula Story xx